People say that forgiveness is a sign of strength. When you are able to let go of the past and forgive that person who has wronged you, you are the "bigger person." But where do you draw the line? My biggest fear is that these people may mistake my forgiveness for weakness, and proceed to try and hurt me again. However, what they don't know is that I have never been this strong in my whole entire life.
I may be sad at times, mad at others, I may even dwell on what happened, but because I forgave, I don't have that sense of hatred that I once felt. Because I was able to acknowledge where I went wrong in the situation, and where I could have made different choices that could have lessened the drama, I am able to forgive even easier. But what lingers in the back of my mind is, do I forgive too easily? Where do I draw the line?
Everyone who has ever betrayed my trust I have forgiven. EVERYONE! And trust me, some of these people should never have been forgiven. But I did. And I still continue to forgive. It is definitley hard to let down that guard to forgive. And overcoming hard obstacles takes strength. So I guess it does portray my strength. What I have learned, however, is that I do not have to let my guard all the way down and allow that person back into my life. I can forgive, wish them well, and send them on their way. That is the difference between being the "bigger person" and being down right pathetic. In the past I have been pathetic. Allowing someone who has hurt me so much, kicked me while I was down, back into my life. I did not realize until later that by letting that person back into my world, I was being very self destructive.
Now there are a couple of unhealthy relationships in my life that I have recently confronted. One of these relationships has potential to be saved because I let go of my anger and forgave. But am I being too forgiving? Does this person deserve to have me back in their life? Should I forgive and walk away, or should I forgive and try and save what we had? I am torn.
And the other relationship...well, if I stepped out of my denial for just a second, and told the truth, sadly it probably can never be saved. And I think the lack of forgiveness is keeping me holding on. Because with forgiveness comes closure, and with that last relationship I am so afraid of closure. To forgive this person will take all the strength in the world, because along with forgiveness, comes the end of an erra. And I am not so sure if I am ready for THE END.
THE END.
2 comments:
You are continuing to learn each day. More than me, It seems. Hmmmmmm. I like.
Babe you are right in the sense that forgiveness is a sign of strength. Only a strong person can look at the past, learn from it and be able to move forward. You do that well. The people who mistake that for weakness are the very people who are weak because they are too bitter to move on from their negativity. Holding a grudge only brings you down and you should never let anyone or anything obtain that power
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