*Inspired*

Ever since I can remember, I have loved to write. For me, writing is like a feeling. It is as familiar to me as is the sense of touch or the sense of smell. It's the sense of emotion. It comes from your brain, through your heart, out of your fingers onto the paper. Its a form of self expression that I felt extremely lucky to have mastered. However, lately I stopped writing. So I guess you can say, I have stopped feeling. And that is literally what I had done. I went through a series of unfortunate events this past year and the thought of writing was incomprehensible. To write is to feel and I definitley did not want to feel. It hurt too much to express myself, so I decided to stop feeling and in return, stop writing. I fell completley numb. I walked around surviving, but not actually living. The world turned into a blur and I stayed stuck living in the past, but only surviving in the present. The demons of my past haunted me and I felt stuck in a state of limbo not able to move forward.
I recently took a class that opened up a world of possiblities for me. Things started to become clear and make sense. I created a possibility for myself to let go of my past, forgive and move on. I learned that your feelings do not define who you are. Feeling angry or numb or sad or even happy, does not make you that way. You are you and I am me, and our feelings are just our feelings; nothing more. We have a choice in every situation that comes along. And in my past, I chose to let my feelings take total and utter control of me. Now that I recognize this, I have a choice to feel my feelings- and boy, do i feel my feelings!-maintain my self control, and continue on with my life.
Life is a thrill ride, and you never know where its going to lead you. But it is such a relief to know that I have a choice no matter what comes my way. And i choose to feel my feelings no matter how hard they may be to face, because after all, without feeling, there is no writing.